Whats on the inside

Looking in my soul...as I look in my soul I see a women who has grown alot in a short period of time. I see a emotion that has tried really hard to mature into a real love.Hurt is there and nomatter what it can not be covered anymore. I have exposed the existance of pain inside the deepest core of my being.

As I look even deeper I see a child waving and smiling at me, a child that everyone seen but me.A child who was trapped in a web of denile.But as I grew in Christ that child was set free..The more I grew in my Lord the more I realised my actions were a product of this hurt child inside me dying to be seen..not by everyone else but by me. You see the more I was hurt the more I locked this inner child away never to be seen again torchering her to cover up the pain, almost to her death. (you see she had to go because she was weak..she was a part of me that could be hurt and I was tierd of being hurt)

My realtionship with Jesus Christ saved her.I remember all the times I could feel his presence wash over me starting at my head and making its warm way threw my body.I new he was there..I didn't need evidence I didn't need proof of his existance all I needed was him..I could feel the love of my father as I cried many of nights on the floor or in the bed hoping someone would hear me, just anyone rescue me, save me, show me someone cares....

Thank You Jesus I love you..for allowing the little girl in me..the one always seeking approval, always crying out for a hug or a word of affirmation...Thank you for setting her free and allowing me to recognise it is okay to feel things.Its okay to want someone to love me, it is even okay for someone to not want to be around me!

Yes, how free it feels to know this!!I need no mans approval only the Love of my father and with that I can be more than a conqourer!!

So as I look I see a women who has set the inner child free..I am free to love everyone!Even those who persucute me..Thank you once again Jesus!!You are Good!!